My story starts in primary school. Because I looked different from all my classmates I got bullied a lot. I loved music from Madonna and Guns ‘n Roses, wore jeans jackets with skulls on them.
Classmates used to beat me up, lock me to a bike rack, call me names and the teachers did nothing. By the age of 11 it got so bad, that I didn’t see anyway out and I attempted suicide.
At home it was not any better, even though my mum did her best.
My parents divorced when I was 2,5 years old and she had met a new man, that we lived with for years. When he was drunk he would get violent and beat my mum up. That happened many times, so home was not a safe place either.
At the age of 12 I had a big crush on a girl and she liked me too. I was so happy!
Until my mum caught us kissing and was furious. She grounded me for a month and said it was sick, not normal, and it could never ever happen again.
Because my mum was everything I had, I tried to ‘ be normal’, put my feelings aside and live the way that was expected of me. I wore dresses, dated guys, and had a daughter at the age of 22. But I was not happy at all, got postpartum depression and everything was very dark.
Now I love my daughter with all my heart, would not trade her for anything in the world. I knew in my heart that I could not go on pretending to be something I am not, but was afraid to lose everything, so I stayed locked up in the closet.
My mum has been with a new man for 20 years now, and he hates everything about me. His exact words were: u are worthless, you don’t deserve to be alive, I can not understand how someone could love you. When you hear that enough, you start to believe it. I am afraid to fall in love, because how could someone love me back?
At the age of 42 I went to Pink Saturday and when I was there with people that were out and proud, I cried my heart out. Still I was afraid to be open and be who I really am. Now I am 49, and had never heard of Yungblud until a few months ago. I was scrolling on YouTube and found the song ‘Hated’. I listened to it over and over again, crying my eyes out. I looked up everything about him, watched interviews and found the BHC. His music means so much to me, and he is giving me the courage to finally be myself, and that I belong somewhere.
Thank you Dom!!
I am so sorry this happened to you and you had to go thru such horror!
My daughter is gay and I could NEVER do that to her. I accept her as she is! I’m glad you found us and were so glad you’re here! I’m 49 as well and just recently found Dom, and I’m so glad I did! He saved me as well! Much love to you dear! 🖤🖤
Thank you so much. That was also I did different
from my mum. I always told my daughter that she could be whoever she wanted. She told me she was bi at 15 and I have never ever judged her for it. All that matters to me is that she is happy.
And I am getting there, so glad I found Dom and the BHC, where I can be 100% myself. Xx
You are always welcome here! BHC always and forever!